Memo to Madonna: It’s a Buyer’s Market

A couple of months ago, it was credibly reported that Madonna was looking for a house in Rosh Pina, a northern Israeli town overlooking the Sea of Galilee where, so we were told, she believes the Messiah will arrive. He’ll walk from Safed to Tiberias, in probably the most gorgeous part of the Holy Land, where he may be tempted to cool his heels in one of those quaint bed and breakfasts — that’s according to the script from which she and other Hollywood Kabbalists are reading. And Rosh Pina offers a gorgeous little front row seat on that divine moment, of course — drinks on the patio and watch the show.

Rosh Pin also happened to be well within range of Hizballah’s Katyusha rockets, and took a bit of a beating these last four weeks. Assuming the messiah can survive any future Hizballah fusillade, the good news for the artist also known (in Kabbalah circles) as Esther, is that Hizballah has managed to bring down property prices in northern Israel. Presumably, there are moneyed Kabbalists everywhere waiting to make a killing.

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15 Responses to Memo to Madonna: It’s a Buyer’s Market

  1. Gozer says:

    The only word I can come up with to describe this (the fashionable Kabbalists, the Messianic nonsense, the property seeking, the war) is…grotesque. And I mean that in the purist classical sense.

  2. Wait! I thought that Madonna *was* the messiah. I read in the Bible that it had to be a native of Michigan who could tap dance. But maybe I misread.

  3. Tony says:

    Yes. you definitely misread. Everyone knows the Messiah was Rebbe Schneerson — the prophesies are very clear about the fact that his touchdown would be in Brooklyn, not Safed…

  4. lova says:

    A former president of Madagascar once explained that Garden of Eden is somewhere in Madagascar. Can anyone convince the Kabbalists of the veracity of such statement and get them to buy real estate at triple the market price over there ? We could use the cash flow and the publicity and we have plenty of space to spare,

  5. Tony says:

    Unfortunately (and I’m not kidding), the Judeo-Christian tradition holds that the Garden of Eden was between the Tigris and the Euphrates, i.e. around Baghdad. I guess property prices are falling pretty fast there, too…

  6. markus says:

    A couple of months ago there were reports in the UK press that Madonna had gone cold on the Kaballah malarky. Don’t think she’s going to be hanging around with her friends over there any time soon.

  7. >> the Garden of Eden was between the Tigris and the Euphrates

    That’s what I like about the bible: the humor!

  8. lova says:

    ” Judeo-Christian tradition holds that the Garden of Eden was between the Tigris and the Euphrates”
    I agree with Bernard, you have got to love the irony. Thanks for the knowledge. Our former president was known to have slightly lost his mind by the end of his term so his garden of eden theory came as no surprise. Funny how a few African leaders post-colonial period seemed to have lost their sanity at the end of their regime. Thank god for Mandela.

  9. Kabbalist says:

    Here jews take money about talismans, prayers and amulets:
    Why people need pay, about this??

  10. Madonna is great as you write the reviews.
    You are sure the Clever Guy !!!

  11. kita says:

    until now Madona she could not live there

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  14. manoda still popular at this day

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